Whilst people like Steve Hansen can say that domestic violence is ‘not a gender thing’ the reality and the facts say otherwise. Whilst it is true that both men and women assault each other whether in New Zealand or Australia or around the world it is clearly documented that men are the majority of those who are responsibile for domestic violence in New Zealand.
I was brought up in a household where I regularly witnessed arguing and domestic violence which was a sad part of my upbringing. So I can believe where it states in this article that “A UN report put New Zealand as having one of the worst records of family violence in the world.”
We must consider all the ramifications of domestic and family violence not only on the individuals involved but also their friends, family and society more broadly. The after effects of having gone through such a relationship or witnessing it leaves one scarred for years afterwards and it takes time to heal not only the physical effects but also the emotional and psychological effects.
For many years after leaving home I have had nightmares which relate to my upbringing and only time and counselling have helped me to move on however one still is left with a feeling that you can never quite trust people.
If we could only recognise as a society as a whole the damage we are doing to ourselves when we allow this to continue sometimes silently and not address it once and for all and say it is not acceptable. Until we discuss this more and more coming up with real solutions not band-aid solutions to this epidemic it will continue unless we come together saying enough is enough. It is time we started to grow up as a society and learn to communicate with each other without the need for hatred or violence.
This is a real issue for all including the LGBTIQ+ community as well and one that one cannot and should no longer be tolerated in any circumstances.